Broigus Is Good

I watched the end and middle of a film called Wall Street yesterday in the small television room and I very much enjoyed it. It was all about Kirk Douglas, who’s a gown manufacturer, and he wants his son to take over the business, and then the people who made the film got confused about how to end it so they didn’t bother, but the point is, at one point, Kirk Douglas says to his son (who I think was in The Waltons), Greed is good.

Which I don’t think is true. My best friend Dolly is very greedy and she wouldn’t give me her piece of wedding cake from her grandson’s wedding even though I just fancied it (so I fought fire with fire, and hid it in one of the downstairs sofa cushions). I can’t see anything good about greed like that.

Of course what Kirk Douglas was trying to say was that sometimes feelings people have that other people think are bad, are really good. But he chose the wrong example. I think it would have been better if instead of saying Greed, he said Broigus. Because Broigus is good. I think being broigus is wonderful and can really help out lots of very difficult situations – can you imagine how dull and boring Christmas would be if no one got broigus?

Or, another example, I was broigus with Dolly about that wedding cake and I didn’t speak to her for three weeks. I stayed in my room with the heating turned up full until they had to bring in the doctors, and when they did I pointed at Dolly and said she was the one who drove me to this and Dolly broke down in front of me and the only thing that calmed the situation down was when I said I was willing to forget the whole thing if she gave me all her chocolates she gets from her son (which I’m glad to say she continues to do to this very day!). So broigus is good.

And of course with that B.T.I.H.C Louise, my niece-in-law, the same thing. I’ve never been anything else but broigus with her. I was broigus with her before I even met her and in fact, I refused to meet her the first time, even though Michael pleaded with me. I said, Absolutely not, and when Michael asked me why, I said, I’m broigus with her. He said, But Auntie Mitzi, you’ve never met her, and I said, You don’t have to meet someone to be broigus with them. You can be broigus in principle; in fact it can be very principled, to be broigus with someone from Day 1, if that’s how you feel. And I was proved right because my relationship with Louise has never really recovered from the stand I took at that time.

Anyway, I mention all this because, as I say, I think being broigus is a fundamental human emotion and beneficial to humankind, but the trouble with me at the moment is, I’ve got no one to be broigus with. Michael’s visiting me regularly; Dolly hasn’t done anything to annoy me; Benny’s just given me a piece of his fried fish; the male nurse ‘Mark’ is keeping himself to himself. Even Louise hasn’t said or done anything I can really pick up on.

So I’ve got nothing to be broigus about and, I must admit, it’s given me the blues.

Dolly's just come in and given me her son's chocolates. Rose creams, which I'm not crazy on, but I can't make a fuss about that.

I must say, Christmas seems a long time coming this year.